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How many years has it been?

Almost five. Okay. Well. I'm not sure if that was the last time I posted to my journal or if it was the last time I was on this site altogether... But holy shit. I probably have not been on this site since I was a teenager.

I have a lot of thoughts about that, none of which anyone needs to be subjected to. Honestly, I came back to find the Daredevil kink meme, and that's about that. So in that regard, I am still very much like my teenage self. The end.

But once you see it, you'll shit brix.

And I swear to you, it's not edited. It was taken directly from my webcam.


Life = Over.

 Found what I'm doing for the Glee hiatus.

'Scuse me, I need to go add a new tag...

I'm so amazingly happy right now!

Earlier this morning, I planned to troll Omegle. My first few conversations were almost immediate disconnects as I warmed up, but then I encountered a fellow from California who actually turned out to be pretty cool. We friended each other on Facebook then went our separate ways.

My very next Stranger was a 16 year old named Dean from a few counties over. I was crying by the end of our conversation. Read it underneath the cut below. I believe in myself again, and I believe in good, and I remember why I'm still alive, and what I'm on this planet for.

Extremely big but moving block of text ahead!Collapse )
All Mangas Reader is, bar none, the single most useful Google Chrome extension for any manga fan. Compatible with about 30 different scanlation sites in no less than ten different languages, All Mangas Reader (AMR) sounds too good to be true when you first read the description in broken English on the Extensions page.

Believe me, it's even better than the description.
It allows you to search any number of those 30 sites by language or by manual enable/disable for a manga. The search function opens in a new tab with your last enabled/disabled settings and last searched-for manga. The simple interface requires only the name of the manga; you type it into the searchbox and hit "enter" and watch as a list appears fairly quickly. Next to each found title will be a strip of icons. Each icon is an enabled site that has the manga you searched for; you can mouse over it to see the site title, and when you choose, clicking on the icon will take you to either the first chapter of the manga or the page directory for it.
Here's where it gets cool. First thing you'll notice is that after a few seconds, the Mangekyou Sharingan icon for AMR will now have a "1" over it. This is the number of mangas you're tracking with AMR. If you click on it, after a few moments a menu will drop down, showing you a list of the mangas and the last chapter you read of it. It will give you links to the last chapter before that, the last chapter you read, and the next chapter, as well as tell you if there are chapters you haven't read via a dancing yellow "NEW" gif.
BUT WAIT! There's more!
Redirect your attention to the chapter of the manga you're viewing. You know that most sites load only one exasperating page at a time? Look at the scroll bar for the webpage. Looks a little lengthy, doesn't it? Yes, that means what you think it means. Go ahead, I'll wait while you scroll down and stare with delight. It loads each page of the chapter on one webpage for you and all you have to do is scroll down to read effortlessly!
The only issue is how slow the extension's drop down menu is. While not excruciating, it's noticeably slower on my notebook PC than most other things; even RAM eating programs tend to work faster, and it freezes up a little at first. However, it's not a big problem and DEFINITELY worth the ease of All Mangas Reader - it would take me MUCH more time to keep an external list and search through pages and pages of bum links every time I wanted to read a new chapter.
I'd rate it a solid 9.8 out of 10 and it's definitely a must-have if you read manga scanlations. I think it was made by elves. *tags with "elves" tag* Why do I even have that tag? *tags with "moment" tag* Because I definitely did have a moment or two when I first realized how FABULOUS this extension is.

Writer's Block: Going down

You're on a crashing plane and your partner is fast asleep. Would you wake her/him up to say 'I love you' one last time or let her/him die in her/his sleep?

I just broke up with my boyfriend.

We'd been together just short of a year and three months.

I'm not nearly as upset as I should be, considering. I kept thinking to myself that I really ought to break up with him. I wasn't happy. I think I'm emotionally built for something different than "A" meets "B" and lives happily ever after, for one thing, but for another - he's at least as emotionally screwed up as I am, if not more simply because his parents are so absolutely insane.
He's been really controlling lately. He doesn't see it, but it's definitely there, and that is mostly what dealt the final blow. The more he clings and tries to possess me, the more I try to set everything on fire.

It's his immediate fault that I broke up with him. Although several people threatened to make angry faces and spontaneously combust if I lost my reserve, I had told him that we would deal with this when he got back from Senior Trip because I needed a few days to think about it rationally. I had tentatively decided to break up with him and told an inquisitive mind on facebook that I had made my decision but being the person he is, he saw that and essentially demanded to know. Over the next few days, I might have figured out a way to fix everything, or at least start to fix it (though I doubt it) but he demanded to know, so I told him what I'd decided. He's like that - he pushes, he wants to know, he won't give me time to think about it.
If anything, this has only inspired me to be better. I'm going to spend the day researching diets and I WILL find a way to go to college in the fall and major, eventually, in Theater Arts. I want to be famous. I want people who once scorned me to look at me and say, "damn, I could be friends with that beautiful, rich, famous woman, but I was such a judgmental idiot that I lost my chance."
Even if I can't feel emotions, I can certainly fake them well enough for the camera.
Incidentally, Google Chrome's spell check tells me I've spelled "combust" wrong. However, a large assortment of words such as "combusted," "combustive," and "noncombustible" are supplied as alternatives... I'm confused.
Because I write in Google Docs, I thought it might be interesting to provide you all with a view link so that you can read it literally as I write it. All you need to do is click on that link to be taken to a Google Doc called "TRHR 2 of 4" where you can read what's already been written and watch as new changes are made. I understand, though, that not everyone will be watching it with bated breath, so what I'll do is post a schedule at the top of the doc. I plan to write a bit from about 3:00 to at least 3:30PM  EST today, and then later tonight at a time to be announced after I finish writing this afternoon. All you'd need to do is check the doc to see what time I will be writing!
I'm doing this because I have a hard time finishing fics like you wouldn't believe, and I also feel like there's a lot of development possible in my writing. Having written predominantly on ff.net, I don't feel that I get nearly enough concrit. Even my worst writing gets showered with praise over there, and it frustrates me because when I reread it, I know could do better - but no one pushes me to.
I urge anyone who reads this post to feel free to click on that link and abuse the hell out of the button that says "Discussions" if you have a gmail account. I'd like to hear what you like about it and what you don't like. If you don't have gmail (or even if you do, I don't care), feel free to leave your concrit here or at any of the provided contact links on my info page. Edits to this post will occur in about five minutes after I deduce what contact links are actually ON my info page.
Also, feel free to share that link with anyone you want. I just don't want it literally public on the internet.
 The story begins one fateful evening when my boyfriend gave me strep throat. It's a bizarre start to the story, I know, but bear with me.
I get a lot of upper respiratory infections, some of the potentially-deadly variety, so I was whining about it to rusting_roses . She asked if there was anything she could do. I told her to mail me some aspirin (but knowing the US mail system, despite the fact that she lives only a few states away from me, I'd have probably been better by the time it got here =/). Then I amended that and asked her to write some smut and she did and it was fantastic. We had discussed the contents of this, and I expressed a desire for a slutty!bottom!Blaine who initially was like, "I AM GOING TO WIN AT SEX!" but, being Blaine, inevitably pulls a fail out of his back pocket instead of a condom. Kurt eyerolls and proceeds to awesomely take awesome control, because Kurt is awesome.
Aaaaaaand that's where we lost me.
You see, while that is my first Klaine smut I've ever written, I am certainly no stranger to smut. I wrote it profusely in multiple fandoms from the ages of approximately 12 through 15. That's three years that I couldn't stop writing it. I compulsively write smut. As I told rusting_roses , she's awoken the Dracula of porn. Now, if only I could learn to finish things.
On to the meta:
There's a lot of argument about bottom!Kurt and top!Kurt in our comm, and a lot of people make the very convincing argument that Kurt's personality just says bottom. And you know what? I agree. However, I think people forget: just because Kurt is a bottom, it doesn't mean that his partner is automatically a top. With pairings like Puckurt, for example, it's a given that he's most likely a top. However, the more I look at Blaine, the more I think he's a bottom too. He's much less forward than Kurt, so I feel that when it comes down to it, Kurt would predominantly top in their relationship, if only because Blaine won't.